Saw my youngest child, three years old dress up by himself today. My oldest won a gold medal at his gymnastics championships. My twin daughters quite often have more insight and express things more articulately than I can. In short, they are getting older, and so am I.
The joy I feel to see them develop into the people they’re becoming is something that cannot be explained – only experienced. And for the most part, it’s a wonderful feeling. In a way, they’re little bits of me running amok, but mostly, it’s large bits of special souls making their way into the world.
The hard part is the realization of my own mortality, my so-called “growing up”. I’m getting older. I’m not the boy or even the man I used to be just a decade ago. Back muscles sometimes ache, knees buckle occasionally and the ol grey matter well, just turns black at times. And it’s juxtaposed with these four wonderful, intelligent, little (though not for long) critters currently sleeping in their rooms upstairs.
My goals for my 35th year? Here they are as written: http://yongsa.theredonion.ca/?p=471 .
Weight goal: Still stuck at 210. Need to be at 185 by Dec 1st.
School goal: School is going well. Current cumulative grade is B+.
Spiritual goals: Faith and Confidence. I haven’t done that well in this department. I need to read scriptures more diligently. I need to have more fervent prayers. I’ve let this lapse for the past six months and I’ve notice the price being paid in lower faith and lower confidence. This needs to change.
On the bright side, my life has been very good. Evelyn and the children have been really supportive of my schooling. I haven’t been around much, studying in the library, staying awake to the wee hours of the morning studying. As I go through this program, I’m beginning to realize, this is the real thing. Either you learn entrepreneurship or you don’t. Either you learn leadership or you don’t. Either you learn to become your best self, or you don’t.
If I don’t, then all of it will be a waste of time and resources.
But if I do, wow! Imagine the life ahead for all of us. And to think that I actually enjoy the material…