Carry on.

Dark Fog.

Sometimes, there are things that you just can’t know ahead of time. No matter how well you plan things, no matter how hard you arrange things, no matter how much you prepare for every eventuality, the future is unwritten. You must run the gauntlet of life to find out what’s on the other side.

I have been living far too long knowing what lay ahead. I knew that I would get married to a wonderful wife, have several beautiful children, finish my bachelors get a good job…

Which brings me to today. The fog of uncertainty has rolled in and I don’t really see what lies ahead anymore. There are so many uncertainties, so many “what ifs”. To tell you the truth, I don’t know what the world holds for me in the next few years.

I err on my choice of words, because deep in my heart, I know that “It’s not what the world holds for you. It’s what you bring to it.”

With a relatively young family of my own, I’m not currently in the position to bring all that much… yet. Mortgage, student debt and other things must be dealt with before we can make a concerted effort to tackle the list. Only then can I control my destiny.

I feel good. I have a basis to create my next goal: to deal with all of those obligations – all in the next five years. It’s possible. Although I have dreams of travelling the world with my family, although I hope that my current (or perhaps future) employer will make that option available eventually, I can’t count on anyone else to get me there. I must put myself in a position to have the ability to save for these trips – and that means debt elimination, then savings after.

I give myself five years. I will not deny my family the blessings of travel and culture.

In the meantime, there’s the internet, TV and the vibrant multi-cultural opportunities that Vancouver has to offer. It’s certainly not the same, but it will be a nice stop-gap measure until we can afford the travel in five years.

I don’t feel as hopeless as I did a couple of weeks ago. I know what to do now. And the dark fog has lifted somewhat.

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