Carry on.

Remember when I used to be a good friend?

Back in the 10th grade, an old friend of mine told me that, “You will never have the same kinds of friends the way you do in High School.” It was quite a prophetic statement, although I didn’t believe her at the time. I told myself, “I’ll never drift apart from my friends, never.”

Ahhh the idealism of a 16-year-old. I had no idea about the events that would transpire over the course of fifteen years. Going to different schools, leaving on a mission for two years, getting married, going back to school while everyone advanced in their careers having four children… I never would have imagined that I would have drifted apart from those who have been my source of strength through those years at STM.

The odd thing is the way I drifted apart from them. Mostly, the combination of work and school made it difficult to meet up with them. Time did the rest.

A select few, notably those of the opposite sex, I’ve decided not to keep in contact with. Not because they were bad to me. Far from it. The ones I’ve purposefully avoided have been my best friends over the years. But my love and loyalty to my wife and family takes precedence over them. And I do not regret this choice one bit.

There are some good friends (Freelance graphic artists and those with hair you can stick a pencil in for example) who I have managed to keep in contact with. The only time would get to see them would be at their weddings, child births and our children’s birthday parties. But when we get together, for one brief moment, it feels like old times.

Enter Facebook. All of a sudden, my profile is filled with people I haven’t seen in so long, many of them with memories that I don’t care to remember or re-live, or explain to anyone anymore. Sometimes it gets so tempting to just delete my facebook profile, just so I can hide in the closet of the present.

Although school is over and done with, I still feel overwhelmed at times. The job search isn’t going as well as I had hoped. I’m stuck in graveyard shift and I would love to spend more time with my wife and children – my “bestest” friends of all.

I haven’t found that 9-5 job that I’ve been longing for yet, and I’ve been focusing most of my spare time trying to find one that fits my passion and our budget. Again I find myself waiting for something better, waiting and working for something at the expense of the people that matter most. And time marches on where I could have been a better friend, a better husband and a better father.

I pray that the job will come soon, so I can have the time to be that person, that friend, I long to be. I need that extra time. I really need to get that job. If anyone of you reading this know can help, I will be so grateful.

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