Carry on.

Sometimes, I wonder….

Sometimes, I wonder what my life will be like in the future. Will we get that house that we always wanted? Or more immediately, will we get out of our parent’s basement? I look at people around me who are making less money than I am, but they’re doing quite well, holding their own with their own place.

Somtimes I wonder if I will ever amount to the way I thought I would when I was younger. I grew up thinking that I was going to be one of those “movers and Shakers”. Right now, I’m not so sure.

Evelyn and I were looking through some old pictures of mine, and I saw a picture of Chris Lane, Mike Kassam, Peter McCabe and me. Three out of four people in that picture graduated from University. Three out of four people ended up with very successful careers. One of them got a masters and is now doing medical research, inventing things that will save lives.

To think that when I was younger, I looked down on them. I seriously thought that I was going to be more successful than they would be. How naiive…. and here I am, answering technical support calls at 1 in the morning out of necessity to support our family.

Humility hasn’t always been my strong suit. Sure, I can act the part of a humble guy quite well, but there are some days where I really wonder… what happened to me? What happend to my brains, my talents, my abilities? Where did it all go?

Now I must catch up. I must complete my degree and get out of debt and get that job that our family needs so I can see them at night. I cannot afford to fail! There are too many people depending on me.

Sometimes I wonder… if I wonder to much. There is much to do.

One thought on “Sometimes, I wonder….

  1. Evelyn

    Hey Hun, Check this out!
    On my way to work I was reading the ensign and gets my attention on Elder Ballard’s Article- Be Strong in the Lord. Thisis really nice Article.
    He suggested six ways we may protect ourselves by eliminating any chinks or gaps in our personnal spiritual armor. The thing I like the best is the third one: Draw on the Meciful Grace of God. He quoted Ether 12:27 (being humble. If we were perfect in every respect, it would be hard to be humble. Even in specific things, humility comes harder to those who are very strong in one area or another. Our weakness helps us to be humble….Then comes the promise. If we are willing to humble ourselves, then as it says, “my grace is sufficient,” Grace is define as “enabling power”.
    He then conclude, Do you find yourself hating what you are doing but not able to find the will power to turn away from it? Then rich out and humble yourself. The Lord’s enablingpower is sufficient to chanhe your heart, to turn your life, to purge your soul. But you must make the first move yourself and realize that only in God canyou find deliverance…

    Neat Ha!?

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