One thing that I notices in the past two weeks was that whenever I was trying to live the commandments, my mind was much more at ease. Whenever I actually lived the commandments, life started to get more happier. The time where my wife told me I was horridly ugly? Well, it was just a challenge for me where I failed miserably for an entire week. During that entire week, my grudge, my ill feelings were a cancer, eating away at my spiritual development, my spiritual growth. I feel weaker as a result of it, and with the help of my Heavenly Father, I can rebuild it and make it stronger. With enough protection, and fortification on my part, when the next off handed comment comes along, I will not fail. I will be humble, and use the comment to help improve me.
Another way is that we are commanded to use our resources and money wisely. During my grudge, I took to eating… and eat badly in a big way. I got fatter, I gained weight in a very short period of time. But more importantly, I used money that was earmarked for our savings and our bills. Now we’re in a financial bind right now that will not be easy to put right. Although it felt good at the time, breaking the commandments really contribute to your hardship in life and it makes it much more difficult to return.
I hope that I can return to a stronger spirit, worthy of a good priesthood holder.