Carry on.

Sad news.

I used to think that I could overcome anything that stood in my way. How naiive I am. The past few days have been quite hard. My mother in law was recently diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer – basically advanced to the point where no operation could help her.

This has certainly taken a toll on my wife and her family and we’ve all been soul searching trying to figure out what to do. For me, I’m trying to find out the best way to be the rock of support for my wife. Although it seems like she’s been handling it far better than I am inside.

Whenever she says, “Is she going to be OK?” or “Will she make it through Christmas?” I can’t lie anymore. The truth is I don’t know. And I don’t want to give false hope. What exactly does she need?

All in all, we have decided to take the family to the Philippines in a couple of weeks should I get approval to take those days off. Either we go now with the whole family, or my wife and one of my children go over Christmas for the same price. We couldn’t bear leaving anyone of our children behind during Christmas so we felt this was the best solution.

Of course, this puts considerable strain on us financially. But it’s only money that can be earned back later. If I can be there just to meet her, to thank her for raising such a wonderful daughter – that’s what I want to do. And to give her a chance to see our youngest son – her grandson¬†whom she hasn’t met yet.

I feel quite sad for her and the pain she will go through – as well as the pain that my wife will go through – and her siblings. I hope that I can be of some comfort, some peace when needed. She has found solace in the temple and she has been there often. And I am so greatful that my work has allowed me to be here for her.

Passport applications filled out. Awaiting approval from work¬†– then I will purchase tickets as soon as I get the word. Let’s hope it happens. Because if I don’t get approval, I don’t know what to do.

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